Spring Clean Your Life

Its been a while, guys. It really has.

If I’m being completely honest, I have found that I am struggling lately. I feel like I have been hit with big life event after big life event.

And even though some of these life events are good – and exciting – that doesn’t make them any less stressful.

Let me explain.

It all started in September, when my mom got sick. She eventually ended up passing away within a few weeks of us finding out. Read her full story here.

Before she had gotten sick, we were planning on opening a new gas station/mini mart/restaurant. We were also having a home built behind said building.

Even after my mom had passed, the plans were to remain moving forward and continue on the journey she had started with us…and thats just what we did.

Shortly after her passing we had to move.

We had 3 short days to move our entire home. Thankfully, I must say, it was only down (or up) the road.

During this time, our financial situation was not good. We had to close our previous restaurant in order to move to another location.

This means no income for anyone who had worked there, at least until the new business had opened.

In November, we were able to open up the gas station and mini mart, but the restaurant still had a long way to go.

This meant SOME income for my husband, and a little for my grandparents.

During this time, my husband and I also found out we were pregnant with baby number 2.

Sure, it was exciting, but much scarier than I had imagined.

I still wanted to go a job from home, and had no such luck finding said job.

It was around this time that I found out my current job does not offer anything for maternity leave – no paid family leave, maternity leave, disability, etc.

NOTHING.

Yep. I’m terrified.

My supervisor stated that I will be able to get 6 weeks off after the baby is born.

Let me just yell it a little louder… S I X W E E K S.

In my opinion, this is not enough time to get back to a normal schedule, learn to breastfeed (again), learn to sleep, etc.

As of today, things looking better in some ways, scarier in others.

We have found a way around the strict rules of opening a restaurant, and should be opening a “deli and pizza place” by the end of April.

My son had corrective surgery on his hands in February, which is stressful enough as it is.

And this past Tuesday, we went to the Doctor’s to find the sex of our baby.

We got good news….

And bad news….

We are having another BOY! (This is the good news, kinda).

However, they noticed that my amniotic fluid was low. Not super low, but low enough to cause concern.

Now, we are considered “high risk”.

We will be going to UC Davis in Sacramento this upcoming Thursday; we will know more at this point in time.

Until then, I must remain positive.

Everything happens for a reason.

Everything happens in its own, perfect timing.

I have to trust in God that this is the path I am meant to be on.

So now, I am going to do my best to attempt to remain prevalent on this site.

If anything, I will use it as a journal and something to look back on.

I hope anyone out there will hang on for the journey.

10 Habits to Have A Clean Home!

Habits to Have a Clean Home

We all want a clean home, duh.

However, its really difficult for us to take a whole day (or more) to fully tidy up our house.

That’s why building habits can be helpful.

When you don’t let your house get insanely dirty, you don’t have to take a whole day to tidy up.

Here is what I have found through a little research.

First, a little info about habits.

First, lets define the word.

A habit is a regular practice or tendency, this is especially true if it is hard to give up.

Habits are funny things, my friend.

According to Tracy (2018), a habit can be built (or broken) within 14 – 21 days.

Now that may seem like a really, really long time. But in the grand scheme of things, it will be worth it.

Here are some habits you should begin:

  1. Learn to Value and/or Enjoy Cleaning

    • I know this sounds crazy, because cleaning is generally a chore that no one really wants to participate in. However, if we can make cleaning an enjoyable process, then we will be more generous about the time we are willing to give to cleaning. This teaches us value in cleaning. If we can learn to enjoy it, then our homes will be cleaner. Thus, helping us value the process of cleaning. As an added bonus, when we show this to our children, they will be more willing to clean as well. So, put on some music, rip the kids away from whatever they’re doing, and get to work! Things get done faster when the whole family is involved. And hey, they made the mess too (probably most of it).
  2. DONATE – Don’t Hoard

    • I feel like I’m the wrong person to be telling someone this. Because (confession time) I have a big, big, issue with this. I always keep things “because I might need them one day”, or because it was given to me by so-and-so, or blah blah blah. When it comes down to it, do we REALLY need that item. Probably not. So, create a process for yourself to decipher what is actually needed, and what you can donate (or throw away, in some cases). I like to begin with use. Do I use it? If so, when was the last time? If it was super long ago, then I toss. Then I ask if this item has emotional meaning to it. If so, what type? Can you take a photo of it and still get whatever you’re get from it now? If so, snap your picture and be on your way.
  3. Clean Your Fridge/Freezer/Pantry on a Weekly Basis

    • The absolute beauty of this is, if you can continue this on a weekly basis, it becomes a 10 – 20 minute job…tops. Also, its really gross to pull out food that you don’t even remember making. Or worse, food that no longer looks like food. So, keep up on it and you will eventually get to the point where there wont be much to toss!
  4. Find a Laundry Schedule That Works for You and Your Family

    • And stick to it! When do the kids have sports practice? Do you have to wash your nice, church clothes for this Sunday? Decide what days are best for laundry. Some people can do it daily. For me, that never happens. Because then they just sit in the basket and make friends with the wrinkles. So, I tend to do my laundry on the weekends. I know that I will have time to wash, dry, fold, and put away. This is not always guaranteed for me on days that I work. What works for you?
  5. Clean A L L T H E T I M E

    • Believe me, I know this sounds like a daunting task. But, its a similar mindset as cleaning your fridge weekly. And what I mean by “cleaning all the time” is not what you think. Please, don’t spend every, single day mopping and dusting. If you are headed to your bedroom and you see your robe sitting on the dining room chair from this morning (actual scenario of my home, everyday), then please, take it with you! You are saving time, which is pretty much the most important thing we’ve all got! If there’s something sticky on the counter, wipe it up! This is probably one of the best lessons to teach your children as well. Get them in the habit too!
  6. Straighten Up Before Crawling in Bed

    • I know you’re already tired. Believe me, I have a toddler, I knoooow. But even if its something you don’t think will matter, it will! Are there towels on the bathroom floor that need to go in the laundry basket? Are your couch pillows EVERYWHERE but the couch? If so, do these little things before bed and its one less thing you’ve got to do tomorrow…or whenever you get around to it. My mom has ALWAYS had this idea. She used to make it a absolute point for the dishes to be done before going to bed. She didn’t care who did them, even herself, but they NEEDED to be done. Why? Once my Grandmare (my French grandmother, on my dad’s side) said that the last thing you want is to wake up not feeling well, and then have dishes to do. Well, my friends, I have personally experienced this (because I was stubborn, and didn’t listen) and it sucked. Just sayin’.
  7. Clean While You’re Cooking

    • As if I wanted to make cooking an even bigger ordeal for you. Once again, I know that it sounds redundant because you are literally in the process of making a mess. But trust me, even if you wash the prep stuff you used during prepping dinner, it will save time when dinner’s done. And hey, its not like you’ve got anything better to do while you waiting for your water to boil, right? Another thing my mom taught me. I do it now, but I used to just make the kitchen a disaster, then clean up afterwards. Well, I found out that after a delicious meal, its easier (and quicker) to clean up a small portion, than a big one.
  8. Organize!

    • I cannot stress this enough. Does anyone else feel that when things are organized, it makes life better? We just moved, as you may know, and I am doing my best to organize our things. Everything must have a home, even if its a temporary home. When things are organized, we know exactly where they belong. So, by default, that makes cleaning quicker and easier. Because we are not racing around the house trying to find a home for something that should have already had a home.
  9. Focus

    • By focus, I mean on one room, or task, or “thing” at a time. By doing this, it helps us to actually get it done. As a mother, and wife, I can FEEL like I have cleaned the whole house, but when I look around, nothings done! The reason this is accurate is because we are moving from one thing to another, without ever finishing what we started! We end up exhausted, and expecting the house to be immaculate. This video is scary accurate!
  10. Make Your Bed!

    • I’ve said this before, and Ill say it again, and again, and again. Make your dang bed, girl! I’m telling you, it makes a world of difference. It makes the room look neater. It makes you feel accomplished, silly but true. And it also gives you a nice place to lay all the stuff your organizing and donating!

I hope some of these habits can be adapted to your lifestyle. Also, I want to mention that it is not about picking up all these habits at once, or ever. It is about picking and choosing what works for you.

Experiment a little bit. Tweak the habits. But please try them for a least a month before knocking them, and feeling defeated.

If you skip a day to make something a habit, then just continue the next.

Its not a race.

What are some habits you have developed along the way to help keep your home clean?

Erica

Resources:

Boyes, Ph.D, A. (2018, December 20). 5 Thinking Habits of Tidy People. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201812/5-thinking-habits-tidy-people

Strasberg, K. (2017, February 17). 9 Habits of People Who Always Have a Clean Home. Retrieved from https://www.southernliving.com/home/organization/clean-house-habits

Tenhundfeld, C. M. (2016, June 29). The 12 Simple Habits Of People With Homes That Are Always Clean. Retrieved from https://www.simplemost.com/12-habits-of-people-with-clean-homes/

Tracy, B. (2018, March 29). 7 Steps to Developing a New Habit. Retrieved from https://www.briantracy.com/blog/personal-success/seven-steps-to-developing-a-new-habit/

Are There Benefits to Arguing?

Argument Benefits

Arguing may seem annoying and unhealthy. But it doesn’t have to be!

Rather, there can be a great deal of benefits that come from arguing.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there is most definitely a difference between healthy arguing, and unhealthy fighting.

If anything ever begins to get physical, then it is absolutely time to raise that red flag and contemplate what’s going on. This type of fighting is surely not tolerable, and both parties need to get out of that situation.

However, healthy arguments are supposed to happen, and there are a generous amount of benefits to them.

  • Generating Conversation

Often, especially if the relationship is new, conversations can be surface level. As we all know, surface level never really helped anyone build intimacy, or a strong relationship. When we get into arguments, we are generally so passionate about our side of the story, that we begin to allow ourselves to dig deep and open up. This creates the conversation that we need to have; which will build that strong, long-lasting relationship that most people hope for.

  • Awareness of Perspective

It’s easy to be selfish. Much easier than to actually consider someone else’s thoughts, perspective, and point of view. But, even though its easier, it is not helpful. Getting some awareness into the perspective of your partner (or child) can be significant when it comes to getting to know someone better, and beginning to understand them. Once you understand someone, the subject of the argument will create less friction between both parties. This is because each knows where the other stands.

  • Learned Respect for Other’s Point of View

Sometimes it can be difficult for us to learn to respect another’s perspective. This is probably because, in our own heads, we know that we are right. (Do you detect my sarcasm?) No matter if an argument changes our views or not, it is important for us to learn how to respect the views of others. This is not saying that we have to applaud, or even adopt, their views. It simply means acknowledging them. By doing this, it shows that you can respect their way of life/thinking, without rejecting it. This can make the other person feel heard, which is great for relationships. Because, let’s be honest, sometimes that is all we really want!

  • Learn from Each Other

Sometimes we can be unaware of what we really stand by, until someone else gives us their point of view. Just like respecting their view, we can also adopt their views as our own. Sometimes the other person can make a really good point, we just have to learn to be vulnerable and humble enough to be able to back down when something sounds like it can be right. This brings me to my next point…

  • Vulnerability

If we want to have good relationships, we must learn to be vulnerable. Why would someone (anyone) want to be around someone who is stubborn all the time and never wanted to budge? It doesn’t make sense. Generally, humans want to be around those who make us feel like we are a part of their lives. When we are not vulnerable, then we are basically telling them they aren’t invited to our party. No one wants to feel left out. By arguing, we are allowing ourselves to open up. This, in turn, creates a vulnerability that we may have otherwise looked past.

  • Creates Common Ground

Why do we argue? Generally to “get our way”. Often, arguments can be one-sided, and someone “wins”. Instead of looking at it this way, why not look at it so you can compromise to make both parties happy? By arguing, we are fulfilling all the listed things above, but also creating compromise. By compromising, we are learning to get along with others, and treat others with the respect and love that we would want to be treated with.

I hope that this can give you a better perspective on arguments, and help you understand that it doesn’t all have to be bad. Arguing is necessary to grow a relationship, and a person. It may seem as if this post is aimed toward intimate relationships, but arguments can (and will) happen to any relationship. By arguing, you are showing passion, and that you care.

Next time you argue, remember these benefits. It will make it seem a lot less stressful and frustrating, and will help both parties realize that there is a goal of arguments, and its not for one party to “win”.

What do you do to make arguments worth it?

Being a Perfectionist | Motivational Monday

Done is Better Than Perfect

Are you trying to be perfect?

When I came across this quote today, I was in a rush. 

As many of you probably are.

We’ve got work.

Kids.

Husbands.

Wives.

Toilets to scrub.

Dishes piling up.

Loads and loads of laundry.

You name it, because the list truly never ends.

I knew that I needed to get this week’s motivational Monday post up and going.

But work got hectic (which is usually where I get them done) and we had a few people who just wanted to talk.

So, that left me with little time to get this post. 

Usually, I find a quote on Sunday and create the graphic that evening to be ready for Monday morning. 

Well, silly me, I completely forgot!

Hence, an even more rushed Mama. 

But when I stumbled across this quote, it really make sense (especially according to my Monday so far).

Sometimes it is easier to sit and focus so deeply and intently on something. 

We do this to make it perfect. And because we are stalling.

But really, why does it have to be perfect?

We’re not running for office. 

We’re not Godly creatures in which everything needs to be just so. 

We are human beings, who make some pretty amazing mistakes.

Tell me, how much time do you spend making things…perfect?

Now tell me, how much does it matter after they have been perfected?

I can only speak for myself, but I know that the reward is no where near worth all the effort and work that I have put into it. 

Let the quote thoroughly resonate. 

Sink in…deeeeeply.

How often do you put things off because you are afraid they wont be perfect?

This may be something that you don’t even realize you do!

I know I did this with the blog.

I kept putting it off, and putting it off because I was worried that it wouldn’t be exactly perfect.

But now that I have began, I realize that it doesn’t need to be perfect. 

It needs to be authentic. 

I needs to be me.

Which means that its going to be completely imperfect. 

And that’s okay. 

Sometimes things just need to get done.

They don’t have to be perfect. 

In all honesty, they will probably turn out better when just D O N E.

Do you (or anyone else for that matter) really care if the dishes in the dishwasher are perfect?

Or would anyone mind if a few shirts were wrinkly?

I bet not.

Because perfection is not a necessity. 

It is a choice in which we can live with….or without.

I am not saying that there aren’t times and projects that need to be done precisely and “perfectly”.

I am saying that it is important to keep our eye on what is worth being done in such a way and not giving that title to everything we do.

So, its your choice.

Are you going to keep putting things off because they wont be perfect?

Or are you going to begin getting things done because that’s just what needs to happen?

Are you a perfectionist?

PS: If you are, I can tell your stressed. check out my self care post and de-stress a little!

Begin this RIGHT NOW to prevent diaper rash, for good!

diaper rash

I know that this may sound like a dream come true. But we (my husband and I) have NEVER had to deal with diaper rash. 

NOT ONCE. 

And our son is 2 years old.

How can that be, you ask?

Well, let me give you a little hint my great grandmother gave me when she found out that we were having a baby.

OLIVE OIL!

Sounds crazy, I know

I was perplexed at first, too!

But, hear me out. 

The oil creates a natural barrier on the skin, and prevents moisture from seeping though and irritating your tiny baby’s bottom.

When your little one is done bathing (or after a much needed diaper change), slather some EVOO all over their bum and “front”. Costco’s brand happens to be my personal favorite – cheap and great quality. 

Sure, they’re going to smell like a salad. 

Who cares?!

No one wants their poor little guy or girl to suffer through a diaper rash. 

And other things that claim to prevent, or help, diaper rash are filled with chemicals and other yucky things that we don’t want on us; nonetheless our children!

Baby powder is one of those things that people have been using forever. 

However, in recent research, it was found that it was possibly linked to cancer!

According the the American Cancer Society (2018), talcum powder – a main ingredient found in baby powder – is used to absorb moisture and help with causing less friction. 

Talcum powder is made of talc; a mineral made from magnesium, silicon, and oxygen. These may sound like innocent elements, but together they create asbestos; this asbestos can form in talc naturally. 

Asbestos has been linked to cancers such as lung cancer (when inhaled frequently/for long periods of time), or ovarian cancer (for females who have used it on their genitals). 

In lab studies, it was found that asbestos-free talc had mixed results in lab animals – mixed results meaning that some animals developed tumors, and some did not. 

There has also been human studies as well, where they have researched cancer rates among those who have used baby powder, how often, where, etc. 

In terms of ovarian cancer, many studies found both an increased risk if talcum powder was used, and no increased risk at all. Research for the link between talc and ovarian cancer is still being done. 

The same goes for lung cancer. Some studies have reported an increased risk, others have not. 

With all this being said, there is not for sure way to make sure that the talcum powder we are using on ourselves, or our children, is safe. The verdict is still out on this one.

But really, do we want to risk this for our little ones?

Do you have any tips for preventing diaper rash? Let me know in the comments, or send a DM on Instagram

 

Source:

(2018, December 4). Talcum Powder and Cancer. Retrieved December 12, 2018, from https://www.cancer.org/cancer/cancer-causes/talcum-powder-and-cancer.html#written_by

Motivational Monday – Letting the Past Control Us

your in control

How often do you think about yesterday?

How often do you think about 1 month ago?

1 year ago? 10 years ago?

I’m going to take a bet and say that most people like to believe that they are rarely concerned with their past. 

Yet, how often does our past stop us from doing something?

Quite often. And sometimes, for absolute good reason!

When we make a mistake, we learn, and don’t do it again.

However, when our past stops us from fulfilling something that we want to do, that’s when it creates a problem. 

A perfect example of this is PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Generally, PTSD holds us back from certain situation that may trigger an unwanted response. 

By this happening, we begin to shelter ourselves from situations. 

Often, this is an acceptable thing to do to keep us from feeling a way we don’t want to feel. 

However, when we let it hold us back from doing things we want to do; we are not being the best we can be.

In mental health/wellness treatment, we would consider this to be depression (living in the past) or PTSD.

So, how do we stop living in the past?

The first question to ask yourself is: is it helping?

Generally, the answer to this is “no”. 

That’s because living in the past does not move us forward. 

We need to look at our lives in play, not rewind!

So, when you find yourself gazing into your past, think of a phrase that will snap you out of it. 

It could be something like: “present, not past”, or “focus on the present”.

You choose. 

It make seem impossible because we are so used to looking at life this way, but changing the way we look at life can change our lives dramatically.

What is your word/phrase going to be? I’d like to hear from you!

Self Care on a Budget

self care

We all know that self care is nearly the most important care that we will every participate in. Next to the care of our children (and sometimes husbands).

Here are a few ideas for you to utilize when you are on a budget, but in need of some serious self care:

1. Bath time with Netflix or YouTube from your phone

Not everyone is lucky enough to have a TV in their bathroom. And lets face it, most of us don’t have a bathroom big enough to even put a TV in. But, you can always make a little set up with your phone on this. Sure, you’re going to fork out about $30 for this caddy, but its gotta be cheaper than finding a TV for your bathroom! So fill your bath with your perfect temperature water, set up your favorite show (or YouTube channel), a beverage of your choice, and LOCK THE DOOR…cause its going to be awhile.

2. A good movie, popcorn, and a glass of your favorite beverage

Pop in that favorite movie that you’ve seen 84 times, or maybe find a new favorite. Whatever you do, don’t let anyone sway your decision on this one. This is your time, and if someone wants to join, then they can simply sit back and enjoy whatever it is you are enjoying. Grab your popcorn (or whatever snack you please) and you favorite beverage (I prefer wine, but whatever suits your fancy). Bonus tip: blankets make you feel extra cozy and relaxed.

3. Early wake up with your coffee in peace

Sounds counter intuitive, I know, but it’s actually something that can be savored…even if only once or twice a week. We all like (and need) our sleep, but it’s also nice to be able to wake up to some peace and quiet. I don’t know about you, but I rarely wake up to peace or quiet! So, the ability to wake up a little earlier than normal, even if its only 30 minutes earlier, will give you time to have a few thoughts to yourself.

4. Calming games on your phone – I personally am in love with I Love Hue.

Crawl in bed, or on the couch, and cuddle up with a game that you enjoy from your phone. There’s plenty of free games out there in the App Store or Google Play. I have two favorites in particular: I Love Hue and Zen Koi 2. There aren’t many games that I can actually get into, and continue to love for this long. These two games are calming and addictive, but not so addictive that you can’t pull yourself away from it.

5. Learn something new

Sounds more stressful than it has to be. Learning something new can be challenging, but also so rewarding. This creates hormones in our body that tell us we enjoy something and make us feel good when we have accomplished something, like learning something new! It can be anything to knitting, painting, or fixing a car. Whatever you want!

6. De-clutter

Once again, sounds more stressful than it has to be. When we de-clutter our physical space, it helps to de-clutter our mental and emotional space. This can change how we feel, especially in relation to stress. If we don’t have a lot of physical stress around us, then we are bound to be able to handle our emotional stress much easier!

Hope these simple, yet effective ways to participate in self care can help your brain and your budget!

What are some self care practices you participate in?

 

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Motivational Monday – Impossible?

IMPOSSIBLE

Such a strange word, don’t you think?

One can interperate this word in a few different ways.

First, a person can say that impossible means that it is not possible.

This is the pessimistic way of looking at life.

Or, a person can say that impossible literally says it is possible.

This would be the optimistic way of looking at life.

Either way you choose to look at it, the quote of this week’s Motivational Monday is extremely accurate.

We have all been in a place where something seems so impossible that we lose all hope and motivation to get it done.

Yet, we find it within ourselves to continue.

And when we continue, we generally reach that finish line that we intended on the whole time.

Thus, making the seemingly impossible, possible.

So, why can’t we do this with everything?

Sometimes our logic can get in the way of our magic.

I don’t mean Harry Potter magic, I mean the pure magic that is within human beings.

The resiliency.

The power that we all possess!

This power can come from many different places.

And by power, I mean motivation. We can harness our motivation from our children, our families, or even our own goals/wants/needs.

Motivation and hope is what fosters our will to go on, and we can make this happen all the time. We just have to find where our motivation comes from and continue to pull from that.

Everyday we can create this magic and make sure that our impossible’s become our possible’s.

What have you done that you thought was impossible?

How did you accomplish that?

Holy Grail Beauty Products

Best beauty products

Products I literally cant live without!

1. Silken Oil! Can I get a hallelujah from my girls with the frizzies like me!? This stuff is g-o-l-d, I tell you. When I get out of the shower I do a squirt in my hand (I have medium length, fine hair), rub my hands together to “warm the product” then flip my head upside down and massage in from tip to root. *Pro tip: always start from tip, then work your way to root. This stuff can make you look real greasy, real fast. But once you find your magic amount, you’ll never use anything else again. I promise.

2. I found this about 6 months ago and have fallen deeply in love. I generally love this brand, but had never tried their acne products before. As a disclaimer, I must say that I don’t really have “acne” in the most general and common term. I occasionally break out (like everyone), but mainly just had these stupid, small, unnoticable pimples on my forehead. You couldn’t see them unless you were looking at me from a certain angle, but you could DEFINITELY feel them. Anyway, within two weeks of using this stuff, they went away! I still get random pimples here and there, but that’s normal.

3. I feel like this mascara is probably on most people “beauty list”. Not much to be said about this one, but OMG. It makes my lashes fluffy and long. What more does any woman really need? I also love their new paradise one as well!

4. This is another one of those products that I recently found, but will never (ever) give up. I am not sure how this thing works (and if you are, please comment below cause I’m curious) but this seemingly simple microfiber wash cloth takes ALL the makeup off. To be fair, I really don’t wear much make up (mostly mascara and eyebrows). But, it does the job better than makeup wipes, believe it or not!

5. I can’t recall where I read (or heard) this, but it was said that gently exfoliating your face with a wash cloth was great for you skin. I use this before washing my face. I just gently scrub. My skin ends up being as smooth an my baby boy’s bottom! In my experience, getting that dead skin off also helps my face wash penetrate the skin more.

What’s your favorite product(s)?

 

 

This post contains affiliate link(s). An affiliate link means I may earn advertising/referral fees if you purchase through my link, without any extra cost to you.

Motivational Monday – Comparison

Comparison

Have you ever compared yourself to someone?

Maybe your friend?

Sister?

Co-worker?

Or even that lady at the grocery store?

I’m sure you have; we’ve all been there.

I think that comparison is a natural, normal thing for us all to experience.

This probably stems to our natural want to improve our lives. And by looking at others’ lives, and what they are doing, we can obtain ideas to implement into our own lives to hopefully create a better life for ourselves.

But, at what point does comparison become detrimental to our health – both physically and emotionally?

I would say there are a few ways to measure this.

First, how often are you comparing? If its pretty much every second of every day, then that is definitely taking away from you being able to better yourself. This is because all your time is spent focusing on others.

Second, are you happy to see your “competition” fail? This is a big one. Sometimes when we compare, it makes us feel better about ourselves when we see someone whom we have compared ourselves to fail.

Why does this make us feel good?

Probably because we are recognizing that they aren’t as perfect as we had previously believed.

And, when our self-esteem is so low (side effect of comparison) we use anything to make ourselves feel better; including gawking and rejoicing in someone else’s failures.

Now, just for a second, lets turn the table.

Suppose someone is comparing themselves to you.

And you have failed in some way; but they then rejoice.

Doesn’t feel so good, does it?

Instead of comparing our lives/bodies/families/careers/etc. to others, and rejoicing when they stumble; why not celebrate their victories with them!?

Do not be jealous of their victories!

You have just as many.

And, you might find that your victories are more than you could have ever imagined.

But this only happens when we celebrate each other.

Instead of knocking those around us down, be happy when the person you once compared yourself to has succeeded in whatever their goal was.

And instead of rejoicing in their failures, why not help them through their failures?

You might learn something about yourself, and them as well.

What is a success you’ve had this past weekend?