Everything in this world has good sides and bad sides. However, in order for us to do something (and want to do something) the good must outweigh the bad.
This is where pro and con lists come in handy.
Here are some pros to multigeneraltional living:
- Getting to spend time with your family – just think, most people don’t get to see their parents but maybe a few times a year. With multigenerational living, you can see them EVERYDAY (which is good most of the time).
- Harrison (and any other children we have) get to spend immense amounts of time with his grandparents – once again, children rarely get really good quality time with their grandparents, this gives them the opportunity to get time with them.
- Harrison (and others) will get to learn about their heritage, right and wrong, “how things were”, and so much more – anddd once again, going back to spending time with grandparents. Since children do not get to see their grandparents often, they do not have the opportunity to learn from them. People who are older than us (us being EVERYONE) have so much knowledge that we could never get if we were to not listen to them. Therefore, learning from our “elders” is so important for growing and becoming a good person. We then also have people to look up to.
- HELP – having a ton of people in the house is such a crazy help. There is help when you need to take a shower but can’t leave the toddler in the living room because you don’t want the TV to fall on them, or for them to eat all the Ritz crackers in the house. Or maybe the dishes need to be done, or maybe you even need to borrow a few bucks. The list could literally go on and on, but I’m sure you get the point. When in need, there is generally always someone there to help.
- Financial – from a financial standpoint, it is much less expensive to live with a large group of people then to live with a small one. Its simple, basic math. If the bills/mortgage/rent/etc. can be split more ways, then that is less you’d have to pay. So, there’s that too.
- The sense of ahhhh – So, its ones bizarre and actually pretty unexplainable. Sometimes, well all just be eating dinner, and I just have this overwhelming sense of gratefulness and wonder about my life. Its like, in that moment, I realize how lucky and blessed I am to be living this life. Imagine this: having it always be like Christmas, Thanksgiving, or Easter. Well, of course, without the food. No ones going to cook like that on a daily basis. But it’s that feeling of togetherness that is irreplaceable and generally unattainable, except for those of us who get to experience it on holidays.
- Self growth – living with others forces us to look at who we are. This means that we can get a different perspective on ourselves that we wouldn’t have otherwise. This can create growth in many ways because we find ourselves looking inward and wanting change for the sake of others, but really, we are helping ourselves so much more.
As I stated before, there is ALWAYS a flipside.
So, here’s the cons of multigenerational living:
- Disagreement – This happens ALL THE TIME. I mean, how can it not? You have multiple generations living in the same household. Each generation holds different ideals, thought processes, ways of living, etc. There is going to be disagreements between everyone.
- Arguing/ ”fighting” – disagreement leads me to arguing. When people disagree, they generally find that they then need to argue their point in order to get what they want. However, learning how to argue efficiently and effectively is the sole purpose of arguing.
- Cleaning – well, this isn’t so bad for the rest of the family members, but it is for me (because I prefer to have things just so). I like things pretty clean (for the most part); don’t get me wrong, the rest of the household likes things clean as well, but my cleaning standard is different from theirs. So, I generally find myself cleaning A LOT. This is probably not that big of a problem with others who live multigenerationally, but for me it is. But, I am the mom.
- Decorating – Not everyone in the house has the exact “style” as myself. Therefore, having to balance a bunch of different types of styles in one house is challenging. This is especially true when it comes to our new home. As we approach finding things to fill it with, trying to combine everyone’s style is…well…interesting.
- Loving too much – this is a bizarre issue that I have found. When you don’t live with your parents, I feel it is easier when they pass. Because, well, you were already used to them not being around. However, when you do live with them, it will probably make that transition of them not being there much more difficult. But, having this kind of love is something that I am willing to sacrifice in order to get the benefits from it.
I know that these pros and cons may not seem very big, and I’m sure I will be adding to both here and there throughout the years. But, as you can see, the positives most definitely outweight the negatives…at least in my situation.
everyone’s home is going to look different, and that’s perfectly fine. Finding balance is what it’s all about. It’s not always going to be pretty,
But it will always be worth it!
It just takes a little effort, self acceptance, acceptance of those around you, and the willingness to do whats right for your family. I hope to help others find happiness and balance in their homes – multigenerational or not.